Finding Balance and Peace When You Want It AllOct 13, 2021
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Balance and peace can be two of the most incendiary words in the English language.
Some people bristle at the idea of balance because we have a society that praises constant productivity and ever growing financial success.
Some people thrive on that, but most crumble.
Confessions of a Supermom about doing it all
I once asked a friend how she did it all because I thought she was super woman
That woman, my best friend since junior high, is an incredibly successful business woman.
I marveled at how she worked 60 hours per week.
She went to her kids' activities, kept her home clean, had amazing friendships and threw some of the best parties I've ever been to.
I felt like a failure as a human being next to her sometimes, ok, most of the time, truthfully, all the time.
Of of the beauties of our friendship is the openness and honesty we have, but her answer to how she did it all floored me.
She ten shattered my supermom illusion completely and taught me a valuable lesson about balance and peace.
The having it all versus doing it all myth
This woman always looks amazing and put together.
She drives new, paid for cars and wears gorgeous jewelry.
Her home is immaculate, and she has great relationships with her family.
If that's not having it all, I don't know what is.
Did you notice the shift there?
She has it all, but she doesn't do it all.
That is HUGE, and her explanation of her life changed my life.
She pays someone to do nearly everything I did as a stay at home mom.
Someone straightens up, cleans, does laundry and oversees the care of the house daily.
She and her family ate out or brought carry out into their home most days, so she wasn't cooking and did very little grocery shopping.
She also said she attended several kids' activities, but she missed some too.
Her children are grown now so those family commitments are gone.
She did what she could to keep her busy life as peaceful as possible.
Putting more time in your day
Did anyone else get the same light bulb moment I did?
This woman added time into her day by paying someone to do the things she preferred not to do.
I learned from her that successful women learn to leverage their time and resources.
Successful women use their time well, eliminate things they dislike doing and create peace in their lives.
How do they do that?
It all depends on their personality.
Using your personality to create balance and peace
Some women are task oriented and some are people oriented.
Task oriented women make lists, get to work and get things done.
Sometimes they forget about balance and peace to get things done.
They ignore or dismiss the people who men the most to them to accomplish their tasks.
That's how their life gets unbalanced and chaotic.
People oriented women are great at supporting their loved ones, often forgetting any list they made and any tasks they meant to accomplish.
While the task person may forgo to attending their children's events, the children always have a clean uniform to wear.
People oriented moms always attend their children's events, but their children may be the ones with the uniforms that haven't been washed since the last game, or before.
Neither is ideal, but both can find a balance and peace and many, like my friend have found that.
Balance versus Peace
If you're like my friend and have the financial means to pay someone to do the things you don't want to do, go for it.
For those with a more limited budget, it's time to get creative.
Depending on your personality type, one of the following ideas will make you uncomfortable.
Strive for balance in everything or balance is overrated.
For me, while I love the idea of balance, from life experience, I know that balance isn't a constant.
Sometimes we give up balance to stay focused.
Sometimes we need balance to stay focused.
Then there are time that balance seems like a fairy tale because we want it all, and we want it right now.
Know anyone like that?
Peace over Balance
What if we stopped chasing balance and strive for peace instead?
Chasing balance exhausts you because you try to give everything equal attention.
Work, family, finances, home and everything else gets equal parts of you until there's nothing left.
Striving for peace allows you to flow among the important areas giving each the attention they need without worrying about balance.
Some days you focus on family and let the rest go.
Some days you use an electronic baby sitter so you can get your home clean, get your paid work done, make a meal or get a shower.
If you'e like me, you break up your days so you can focus for a short time on important things because 2-3 hour cleaning sessions don't happen in your world.
Instead, 30 minutes per day gets and keeps your home clean enough to happily welcome guests to come into my space.
It isn't your mama's way to clean, but it is a great way to get started on your journey toward a peaceful home and life.
What will you choose?
Life is about choices.
As a stay at home mom, I chose to sacrifice extra income to be home to take care of my children, provide them with the best home environment I wanted for them and be available at a moment's notice for my medically complex child.
As a work at home mom, I learned to let some things go, like sparkling clean baseboards but still kept up my daily laundry and cleaning habits because it gave me peace.
Several of my single mom friends gave up the idea of dating because raising their children in happy, drama free home gave them more peace than searching that that particular relationship, especially with a full-time career.
We all make decisions, and when I think about those decisions, I always remember an old Broadway song from the musical Baby called I Want It All.
The copy I found is old and dated, but over thirty years later, the lyrics still resonate with most moms I know.
Where do you go from here?
So which choice will you make?
The women that I know that opt for peace are much happier than those who chase balance.
If you're someone who chases balance, but you find yourself tipping over again and again, maybe it's time to strive for peace instead and see where that leads.
For me, it led to a life I love and the ability to let go of what doesn't matter.
If you have all this figured out, I'm guessing you stopped reading this post a long time ago.
If you still need help, join the Whole Home Reset to get started on your journey.
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