What to do when you just need a break
Hello my lovelies. Welcome to the Moving Toward Better podcast. I’m your host, Karen Bemmes. I’m a business, relationship and life coach, and my superpower is helping you find your superpowers and use them to create a life and business you love that works for you. It won’t look like everyone else’s life, because you’re not like everyone else. Today we're talking about what to do when you just need a break. It's summer and you’re probably adjusting everything in your life, especially if you work from home. If you have kids, they’re probably out of school. The world is returning to being more active. The news is, well, the news, and if you watch any of it, YUCK. If you’re a parent with a home business, you’re thinking about how to sustain your business over the summer, and you need a break from the stress of that. If you're neither of these things, but you're a citizen of Earth, you've lived through the last two plus years of a pandemic, so we all need a break, but how do you freaking do that? Haha! I'm so glad your asked
According to Healthline Magazine there are 12 Signs You Need to Take a Break ASAP, and they are
Appetite changes - can you say pandemic pounds?
Lack of motivation
Cynicism - not that I’ve seen any of that. You?
Loss of joy
Sound familiar to anyone? I don’t know about you, but I’ve had more than one more than once the past two years. If you’re the same, what do we do about that? Well, that depends, because what works for one personality type definitely does not work for another. Take meditation. For the D and I personalities, meditation can become a daily torturous task that adds stress rather than removes it. That said, this I/SD loves meditation, but I rarely meditate for more than a few minutes. Rather, I meditate for a few minutes several times per day, depending on the day. Weird, I know, but it works for me.
What’s cool about figuring this out is that you’ll be happier and like your everyday life more. Sounds awesome, doesn’t it? I make no guarantees, but maybe you’ll be less cranky and you won’t binge watch Ozark for the third time this month. Instead of waking up thinking "what fresh hell awaits us today", you’ll wake up with hope. You’ll stop hiding in the pantry, eating the frozen thin mints you stashed in the back of the freezer or quit constantly cleaning out your closet when you really need to be working on your business.
For those who are new to the podcast, I use the DISC personality system to help people understand themselves and others better. The DISC behavior system includes the Driven, Inspired, Supportive and Cautious personalities, also known as D I S and C, and I use those terms interchangeably, so let's talk about why your personality type matters when it comes to taking a break.
Let's say you're a D personality. You're driven and decisive, and as a "reward", someone invites you to a long day of pampering at a spa, when all you want is to go for a hike by yourself and sweat it out. Rejecting the spa day can create even more stress than you already have depending on how much you like the person that invited you. One of my friends who is a D personality told me one time that work is a hobby that is fun. What she craves most daily is 30 minutes of no one talking to her or touching her after her kids go to bed. She absolutely adores her kids, but, especially during the summer when she’s running a business and handling kids being home all day, she is “peopled” out by the end of the day. 30 minutes of quiet time truly helps her reset and be the best mom, wife and badass business woman she aspires to be. The Driven personality may want to go for a run, have a workout or try to beat their high score on a video game because they love a good challenge. They may also want to do all of those things alone because they’re more task oriented and other people just slow them down.
A moment alone is rarely what an I personality wants. A break for the I personality will always include people if that’s possible. It might be belting out karaoke tunes with friends or family members or dancing around the house or in the club with their favorite music. They might meet friends for drinks or lunch or to take a walk while talking on the phone. Yes…talking to a live person. For them attending or hosting a party might be just the break they need. They are the personality type who is the most likely to say, “The more the merrier”, and they absolutely mean it.
If you're an S type person, and someone is pushing you to go on a run to clear your head when all you want is to sit quietly in a corner and read a book, that means more stress, right? The S personality craves quieter pursuits, maybe with one or two of the people they love best, but maybe not. They might want to quietly watch a movie with their favorite people, or they might want to read a book or sit on the front porch swing, listening to the wind and wildlife. They love people, but being more reserved, they need their contact to be on a much smaller scale that the I personality. The S personality might make or bake something for a friend or loved one or call a friend they know is struggling because helping others keeps their own problems in perspective.
For a C personality, organizing a cabinet may be soothing, or baking in a quiet kitchen. A quiet task is a break for the C personality, and if it calms chaos, even better. The C personality may read a book, work on a jigsaw puzzle, play Sudoku or sit in silence. They prefer to be left alone when they need to work through their stress so they can focus on the tasks at hand. The more they accomplish, the happier they are, so let them and get out of their way. Honestly, that’s the way they want it. Trust me. I’ve asked.
Whatever you choose for a break, it should relax you and make you feel better. When you relax, your shoulders sit where they belong instead of being scrunched up around your ears. It should help your stomach and solar plexus to relax and your neck to let go of the knot that pops up when you’re stressed. It helps you to step out of fight, flight or freeze and freaking breathe for a minute so you can get on with your day, week and month like the mom, wife and/or business badass you aspire to be.
I do have something that will help you no matter what your personality. Unless you're running or driving, I want you to stop what you're doing right now for less than a minute and follow along with what I tell you to do. Are you ready? Wherever you're sitting, standing or laying, close your eyes and take a big breath in through your nose for a count of four and let it out slowly to a count of eight. When we're stressed we forget to breathe deeply and that increases the stress. Take a couple more breaths and with each breath, relax a specific part of your body. I usually start with the shoulders because you often feel the biggest release there. Release them from your ears and let them fall to where they naturally belong. Doesn't that feel great? Next, while continuing to take deep breaths and letting them out fully, unclench your stomach. Then return to your shoulders and relax them some more. Next move to the base of your neck or perhaps your jaw and relax them as well. Do one more shoulder relaxation by rolling them forward and then backward a few times and hopefully you feel more relaxed. It’s a simple mini break that is so easy you can do it anytime you're feeling stressed. It’s also awesome to teach your children. I saw a quote once that said that 80% of the violence in the world could be wiped out by teaching the children of the world to meditate. To me, this easy breathing exercise is a wonderful form of meditation that anyone can do, so teach it to everyone you can who needs a break.
While this is a great way for every personality to get a quick break, remember to do what works for you. For the Driven and Inspired personalities, leaning into movement is your friend. The Supportive and Cautious personalities often need to step back when they're stressed. If you heard some of these and thought Ew! Why would anyone do that? You know what your personality isn't. If you heard any of these and thought Wow! That sounds amazing! You have an idea of what your personality IS.
If you want to get a better understanding of your own personality and those around you, the quickest way to do that is to sign up for an assessment today. To take that next step, go to the Moving Toward Better homepage and click the Request a Session button. If you want to take your life beyond a simple understanding of yourself and others, I double dog dare you to sign up for the Moving Toward Better DISCover Better Retreat in September. That’s where we take everything you learn about your personality and super charge it in ways you can’t even imagine.
At the retreat, we'll teach you how to make every area of your life and business work in tandem WITH your personality rather than against it. Trust me, when you do that, life improves in every way. It's a weekend to get away from the grind, learn how to deal with it better than ever and absolutely crush it when you get back to it. You'll learn things you can implement instantly to make positive changes in your life and business. You'll have fun and learn how to support those you love in ways that are meaningful to them and you. You'll learn how to get the best from yourself and others by genuinely speaking "their language" without denying or burying yours. Tickets are limited, so reserve your spot today at https://www.movingtowardbetter.com/2022-september-retreat .
It’s going to be a great time to recharge, reinvigorate and return to your life feeling amazing and better equipped to deal with everything in your world, so sign up today.
To see all the ways you can learn more about your personality and how to live better because of it, check out https://www.movingtowardbetter.com and get started on the best life for you and those you love most.. Finally, if you know someone this episode can help, please share with them. If this episode helped you, check out the episode about living a Life in Balance. You can do that by subscribing on whatever platform you’re listening to or click the link in the show notes. I just listened to it again,and guess what? There’s a mistake in it. Can you find it? Let me know if you do, but I’m not changing it.
It is truly my mission to help people who want to upgrade their life feel better in their own skin and create a life that they love, whatever that means for them, so until next time, keep moving toward better with your unique and amazing personality. Love you all, and I’ll see you soon.
Links mentioned in this show:
Moving Toward Better Website
Life in Balance Podcast
Intro and Outro music licensed from Melody Loops.